The Whole World May Not Believe In You, But...

The whole world may not believe in you, but they will someday...as long as you continue to believe in yourself.

No one really believed in me as an artist when I was younger, only I did. I'd sing and act in my room, alone. I didn't grow up with my siblings, and with my mother at work most often, or busy cooking, I was often left alone. I was in my own world. And then it happened--my first humiliating moment.

My mother put me in a song-writing class. I wrote my own song and performed it in a show. At the end I asked her how I did. "You didn't do that well," was all that she said and she offered no consolation afterwards. Since then, I never sang solo again until I took a voice class in college because I was convinced that I couldn't sing.

That was a lie, though. It was a lie I told myself in order not to face the same humiliation.

I actually abandoned most of my artistic endeavors after that event: drawing, writing, singing (obviously)... I didn't abandon acting though. That was the one artistic thing I continued to do. I've come to realize that without having some sort of artistic outlet I'd probably die (and no that's not being dramatic).

And then I had a conversation with my mother last night. She was being her usual difficult self: self-centered, unable to empathize with my pain, critical as usual. She had told me that I needed to get a job and "get real" (so to speak). My mother never really believed in me as an artist, and my mother was my world. There were others, too, along the way that did not, and still do not believe in me as an artist.

There are many who do not believe in my talents.

I remember one of my classmates made the remark that my talents were not being properly used in college because people couldn't see it.

Annnnnnnnnd this brings me to a realization that I just had while watching this HBO special on athletes: the whole world may not believe in me, but I need to. It's imperative at this point. If not, I may as well give up because I'll only be continuing to waste my time.

I am not sure what it is, but in the last few weeks I have felt a sense of urgency on this topic. However, it must be said: if the whole world may not believe in you, but you MUST believe in yourself. You are your greatest enemy, but your greatest ally as well.

Donte BrownComment