I find that one of the hardest things for people to do is to let go. My mother has a hard time in letting go of a lot that has happened in her life and also in letting me go. I, in turn, have a hard time in letting go of what’s she taught me and how she instructed me to live my life. It’s a hard battle honestly: learning who I really am vs. what my mother wanted me to believe. Fully separating, in a healthy way, is what has been hard. Now that I’ve been distant from her and surrounded by those who support me, I am moving in the direction that I’ve always want to move towards.
I have been learning to let go though. Last night I went out to party by myself for the first time since I have left my mother’s place (it’s been 4 months). For the first time I let loose. It helped to not have someone breathing down my back about where I was going, who with, and what time I’d be back home. Having all of those restrictions lifted helped me to unwind. In addition, since the event I went to included live performance, I was able to for the first time truly envision myself on stage as the artist that I want to be with much more ease. Before I always felt anxious about being an all-round performer because my mother did not approve and did not support me. Now that I’ve been distant from her and surrounded by those who support me, I am moving in the direction that I’ve always want to move towards.