When I was younger and trying to make friends in school I went threw many different phases.   There was the goth stage where it was all about black nail polish and Marilyn Manson than there was the emo phase, and also the gay stage.   Now the gay stage I have to explain you see I didn't know anyone who was gay personally so I watched T.V. a lot!!!! LOGO was the station and what I've seen on that station was what I believed being gay was all about.   You see now that I'm approaching the ripe old age of 25 and I'm developing into my own man.   I'm realizing that I don't have the time to keep going threw phases instead I'm sticking with what matters to me and nothing else.   I wasn't always so brave and comfortable with who I was I was either trying to impress people who would never see me as their equal or I was sad ,because if I did not reach out to people nobody would reach out to me.   Now I'm the total opposite of that person if it doesn't feel right than I don't believe it to be right.   I do not believe my gut is going to lead me into something bad.   We are all born with the 6th sense our ancestors roamed this land for millions of years the way they commanded things is unbelievable and honestly inspiring.   Ever since I started traveling something inside of me changed it as if a spark was turned on the vile over my eyes was no longer there.   Now living overseas I've been having a hard time adjusting to this new way of life I haven't had much luck in keeping job either something about my race or because I come off to aggressive or I challenge authority?   I reached a new low in my life and now I'm self reflecting and starting to have doubts in this new me that is blossoming.   I'm starting to believe that this island is not for me I'm tired of fighting and all its getting me is unemployed or homeless.   I don't want to be a corporate slave I want to stay true to me and what I believe in ,but instead I'm starting to feel defeated I'm starting to become withdrawn very introverted.   Is it me?   I'm I making my life hard?   Have I not grown as much as I believed I did?   Can I not take responcability for my actions that I cause.   So many questions I need to stay consistent with something and have focus this is my hardest challenged yet to overcome. stability